At the heart of every relationship is love. But what exactly is love? It is often difficult to explain love in a way that is universally understood and even if we find the words to describe it, it often feels as if those words fall short of accurately describing the feeling of being in love. In fact, if you’ve ever tried to explain love to someone who doesn’t get it, you know that it’s a pretty impossible task. The way we feel about people is ineffable—we just cannot put it into words!
If you’re like most couples, you’ve probably had one of those days — you know the ones when you can’t seem to get on the same page? There are days when you are not sure if you’re communicating effectively or if your partner really understands what you’re trying to say. Well, the good news is that you can use the power of love languages to help improve your relationship.
The Language of Love
What is a love language? It is a way to show love through words and actions. Experts say that everyone has a primary love language and this is the way in which you most often like to express and receive love. If you speak your partner’s love language, you will both feel satisfied in the relationship. If you speak your own, you will feel unfulfilled.
If you’ve ever had a hard time understanding your partner’s actions during an argument, or if you’ve ever had a hard time telling your partner that you love them, then it might be a good time to talk about the 5 love languages. The 5 love languages are a way to understand what your partner is going through and what they need from you to feel loved. The 5 love languages are as follows:
- Affection – We tend to crave affection in the same way that we crave food and drink. It’s a fundamental human need that is expressed in a wide variety of ways. Some people like hugs, kisses, or other types of physical touch. Others are more of the words and compliments. Still, others enjoy gifts or acts of service. And everyone likes to feel appreciated and valued!
- Quality Time – The best way to learn about your partner’s love language is to watch how they express love to you. If your partner is a Quality Time person, they will show love by doing activities with you. This love language is not just about spending quality time together but also includes doing things that you both enjoy.
- Words of Affirmation – These are a powerful way to show someone you love them, but they must mean something to them. Not all words are created equal: “I love the way you look” may sound good to you, but it’s not going to mean much to someone whose love language is quality time. So, if you want to show your partner you love them, you must understand what they value and show them in the way they understand.
- Acts of Service – For many people, the love language that speaks the loudest is “Acts of Service.” This language is all about deeds rather than words. People whose primary love language is Acts of Service feel loved when their partner goes out of his or her way to help them and this could be something as simple as making the bed in the morning or taking out the trash.
- Physical Touch – Physical touch tells your partner that you care about them and want to spend time with them. If you want to improve your relationship, remember to ask your partner about their love language and give them the physical touch they want.
Understanding those love languages—and how they are expressed for you—can help you communicate with your partner in a way that makes them feel both heard and loved. A person may express and receive love in all these ways, but one of these languages may be the primary way they give and receive love. By identifying your partner’s love language, you will know how you can best express your love to them and how you can understand the expressions of love that they give you.